I Love to Eat

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Hey guys! Happy TMI Tuesday!

This is off topic, but I realized I greeted you a “TMI Tuesday” last week but I didn’t even divulge anything TMI about me. I know, what a tease, right?! Sorry I deprived you of that, but rest assure, I won’t fail you this week.

But you’re going to have to wait til the end of the post to find out my weird TMI fact. *insert evil laugh here*

And don’t be a bitch and just scroll to the end. Forreall.

Anyways… today I wanted to talk about my obsession with eating. Now I know I’m not the only one who gets excited when there’s a good deal at McDonalds or there’s a new taco at Taco Bell, so I’m asking you nicely to let your inner fat kid run loose for the next couple minutes. That way, my inner fat kid and your inner fat kid can be fat kid BFFs.

I love all kinds of food. Asian food, Mexican food, American food, Junk food from every country… yeah, I love it all. I tend to usually crave salty foods, so I’m more of a chip person than a cookie person. I don’t know what it is about chips, but I have the ability to eat an entire party bag of chips by myself. It’s actually more disgusting than admirable, and it’s definitely not an attractive site to see. Favorite chips would have to be a 3-way tie between hot cheetos, hot fritos, and potato chips. Yeah, I don’t care if I get all that red stuff on my fingers. Whenever I finish a bag of hot cheetos or hot fritos, I have no shame and just lick/suck the spices off my fingers. But the funny thing is, in public and especially when I’m among many pretty girls, I do the “lady-like” thing and wash my hands because who wants a bunch of pretty, skinny girls to judge you as you suck the red off your fingers? (That’s what she said. Wait, what?) But as I wash my hands, I always die a little on the inside. What a waste of valuable sucking. (Now THAT’S what she said.)

Which brings me to another point. I hate going out to eat with people who eat like a bird. You know what kind of people I’m talking about. These are the people who basically eat 1/5 of their plate at a restaurant and claim they’re so full, while you can still eat another 2 plates PLUS dessert. Best example of this scenario is eating all-you-can-eat Korean barbeque with a group of people. If you ever have the displeasure of going with me to a Korean bbq restaurant, I will order multiple plates of brisket and a shit ton of rice paper. Like, I’m basically ringing the bell every 5 minutes because I’ll be out of one of the two.

So I’m gonna be real. I can eat 2-3 plates of brisket by myself, no lie. Seriously! I’m usually one of the last people eating because I ain’t afraid to get my grub on. AND I still have room to eat the ice cream at the end. The trick is to NOT eat rice and be weary of how many sides you eat. The only things I pretty much eat are the brisket, the rice paper, and the lettuce. Also, drink WATER! No iced tea or soda… that’s gonna get you full for sure. Haven’t you seen competitive eaters? They drink water so that they can wash everything down and have room for more. Duh. That’s like, Fat Kid 101.

I don’t know about you, but I’m the kind of person that likes to have food accompany me with almost anything I do. So if I’m playing video games, I need food. Watching a movie, I need food. Taking a bath, I need food. Just kidding, but seriously, I need food. I don’t know if it’s because I’m actually hungry or if I just need something to help me focus at the task at hand, I just like having a snack there.

I definitely need food if I’m drinking. I think it’s because my brain automatically just pairs alcohol and food together like wine and crackers (I’m just oh so classy). I also think it might be because when I’m buzzed, I just want comfort food to help me through this crazy time. So whenever I’m at a party or kickback and you somehow see me in a buzzed state of mind, I’ll usually be asking for food. Preferably something terrible for you like hot cheetos or some greasy ass tacos.

But as much as I love all this bad stuff, I really am trying to eat a lot healthier since I am getting older. Let me tell you – eating healthy is difficult and just straight up sucks. And I know all you nutritionist-healthy-eating-foodie-fitness-gurus are going to come at me with some bullshit like, “Oh there’s some healthy options that taste just like the actual stuff!” No. No it doesn’t. I don’t care how delicious you say that pizza might be. It’s not the same. Quit playing games with my… stomach. AND heart. (Backstreet Boys throwback!)

After I got off work tonight, I was so hungry that I decided to stop by a McDonalds to get something to eat because I just couldn’t wait til I got home. But since I AM trying to eat a little healthier, I actually opted for the “healthier” options. If there’s anything you should know about me, it’s that one of my favorite foods of ALL time are french fries. McDonalds french fries are THE BEST. It’s like my weakness. It’s like… my kryptonite. Like at restaurants when I have the option between french fries and a salad, it’s like, HELLO… why is that even a question? This is America.

Anyways, at the McDonalds drive-thru, I had an internal battle between my bad side and good side. My bad side was saying, “Fuck it, just get the french fries. You’re at McDonalds, for crying out loud, it doesn’t get any fatter than this.” But my good side was saying, “No! There’s 10 more days until Anime Expo. NO FRENCH FRIES!” I literally had to ask for a minute at the order menu just to rationalize all this shit in my head.

At the end, all I ordered was one of their new McWraps. It was the grilled chicken and ranch one, which was actually really good. But no french fries… 😦 It’s ok though. Just for the freakin’ wrap, it was already almost $5. Like, seriously McDonalds? $5 for this wrap? Yeah, that made it a little easier to say no to the french fries.

So what’s your favorite food? Can you cook? Let’s let our inner fat kids converse for a bit.

-Alice

TMI Fact of the Week: Sometimes I just fall asleep after I work out. I DON’T forget to shower… I just shower later.

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