Preach that Self Love


Everytime I hear a friend say they wish they were skinnier so they can feel beautiful, a part of me dies on the inside.

I get it.

It’s hard to harness self love from within when we live in a world that constantly tells us we’re imperfect and that we will never achieve happiness in our current state. It’s always easier said than done. I’m still learning how to love myself too, so I’m facing that same struggle.

As a person who deals in communities that unfortunately do focus on image, I see it all the time. A lot of my peers are always dieting and even if they DO look amazing and lose weight, they’re still unhappy. They feel they constantly need approval from others in order to feel a sense of acceptance. It’s a toxic situation and it can easily be stopped if we just took back the power that was stripped away from us.

Now I’m not saying the blame is entirely on media companies who make these sad advertisements. It’s a cycle. Media companies put out these messages, we internalize them, and as a result, we act out how we THINK we’re supposed to. News flash, my friends – we’re not SUPPOSED to do anything we don’t want to. Especially if it’s dictated by these media corporations when a majority of the executive board are rich white males.

Self love comes from within. It comes from a belief that YOU are good enough, no matter what happens in your life. It’s faith. Faith that what you look like on the outside doesn’t define how you are on the inside. I’ve heard of “self love” being a narcissistic trait. It CAN be… if you let it. But loving and accepting yourself is a human necessity. It’s just as important as breathing, drinking, and eating. You have to love yourself in order to feel complete in this life.

You can’t help others if  you can’t help yourself. You can’t love another person if you don’t know how to love yourself. It sounds simple enough, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t apply this concept to their lives.

So I say, FUCK IT! I’m tired of the world telling me I’m not good enough. I’m tired of being told my curves are a bad thing. I’m tired of letting other people dictate my happiness.

So I won’t. I’m in charge of my happiness. I’m the one in control. I love me just the way I am.

You can do it too! I believe in you!

 

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Because Being “Kawaii” is so in Right Now

Oh Avril… please do us all a favor and just go back to singing about skater boys.

Avril Lavigne is back and released a new single titled “Hello Kitty.” If that doesn’t already make you somewhat cringe, just listen to the first four seconds of the song where she totally butchers the Japanese language and made people worldwide unanimously go “SMH.”

This sadly isn’t anything new in the land of pop music. Katy Perry donned a full geisha outfit during the American Music Awards last year and flashback 10 years before that Gwen Stefani donned her whole Harajuku girl posse everywhere she went. Can we all just take a moment and say “WTF WHITE PEOPLE? WTF.”

Cultural appropriation is the adoption of specific elements of one culture by a different cultural group. This is a phenomenon that’s been happening for years, but has recently been pushed to the forefront of any pop culture discussion thanks to people like Katy Perry and Gwen Stefani. Miley Cyrus doin’ that whole “thug lyfe, I’m a bad ass bitch that can twerk” is yet another example of how one culture appropriates another. This can be a hard concept to understand by some because some people interpret this adopting as a positive thing. Like, we’re all sharing ideas and we like how this culture does this, so therefore, this is something that should be celebrated, right?

Well… no. Not exactly.

It’s one thing to exchange ideas and celebrate diversity in a RESPECTFUL manner. (Notice how I capitalized the word RESPECTFUL.) It’s another thing to do a modern day version of colonizing a culture and its people and use their ideas as your own. People are not accessories to your identity. People are people. Appropriating cultures in this manner dehumanizes people and belittles years and years of rich history from these cultures.

So let me sound off here. It’s really fucking annoying to see yet another pop star take this aspect of Japanese culture and wear it like a cute pair of shoes. I mean, can you see those robotic, emotionless Asian back up dancers?! That’s all INTENTIONAL. That was choreographed that way. This song and video is absolutely terrible in every sense of the word. It’s pretty much just like that Chinese food video that the other White girl sang about on Youtube.

Dear God,

Make it all stop.

Sincerely,
one of the many pissed off Asian girls that can’t take off this skin.

 

I Got 99 Problems, but Being a Bitch Ain’t One

Tina-Fey

Hey everyone,

I know it’s been a minute since I last posted, but I’m here. Just been takin’ care of things. I think it’s called life. Oh life… sometimes you just kick my ass a little too hard.

But as usual, I’ve been sitting here thinking a lot about a little bit of everything and I’ve recently discovered yet a new perspective of myself that I haven’t given much thought to.

I’m a bitch. And I’m totally ok with that.

Obviously it’s taken me a while to accept and embrace this fact about myself. You might be sitting here wondering how the hell a commonly degrading word can be empowering, but it can. You just have to change your attitude and control the power dynamic.

Women are generally taught to be submissive, polite, and quiet. It’s never really encouraged to speak up, especially against a man. We’re usually taught to just walk away from things that make us uncomfortable instead of facing it head on. We’re basically being programmed at birth to aspire to marry and start a family.

But what happens when a woman doesn’t follow this formula? As a society, we tend to shun her. We reprimand her for being too vocal and assertive. We make her feel guilty of her sexual choices. We become disappointed in her if she’s spending too much time at work and not enough time with her family, but criticize her work ethic when she chooses her family over work.

Don’t believe me? We see it ALL the time in the media. The recent controversy with Duke freshmen Belle Knox is one example. The unfortunate incident in Steubenville is another example. Or how about how the government is up in arms about giving women access to birth control? The list goes on and on. And that’s fucking sad.

I’m a bitch because I’m tired of this shit. I’m tired of people looking at me like some dainty little flower that can’t handle anything by herself. I’m tired of people looking at me and judging my life choices, yet if a man were to make the same choices, no one would question him. I’m tired of people thinking the reason I’m single is because I’m so damn picky and I should just lower my standards in order to find someone. No bitch.. I shouldn’t lower my standards. People should be aspiring to meet my standards if they want to get with me. I’m an educated woman of color that doesn’t have time to play with little boys. What happened to all the men?

If knowing what I want to aspire in life makes me a bitch, then so be it. If being picky about a potential partner makes me a bitch, then so be it. If calling sexist and racist bullshit out when I see it makes me a bitch, then So. Be. It. If you don’t want to get called out, then don’t say sexist and racist bullshit. It’s as easy as that.

But hey, I’m human too. I’m not always this strong-willed, assertive boss ass bitch all the time. I get caught up in my insecurities too.  I find that surrounding yourself with loving and supportive people really helps. Also, listening to dope ass music that encourages you to be a boss ass bitch also really helps.

So moral of the story… ladies, it’s ok to be a bitch. Because a wise woman named Tina Fey once said, “Bitches get stuff done.”

Stop Slut-Shaming!

Hey everyone! Happy Thursday!

Today I wanted to discuss something that’s been plaguing my mind for a while and I knew I’ve been wanting to write about it. Just in the two weeks alone, I’ve heard pretty questionable comments come from my straight male friends that have made me cringe and ask myself, “Why?”

A couple weeks ago, I was at a bar with two of my guy friends and we were talking about this girl that I’m not personally fond of. My one guy friend asked me to show me her picture and my response was pure confusion. I asked him, “Why does her physical appearance have anything to do with this? It’s not going to change the fact that she’s a mean person.” When I showed him her picture, he then responded with, “Oh, she looks like a nice girl! Are you sure you’re not just overreacting?”

Um… wut? Yeah. Ok.

Last weekend, I was hanging out with another male friend of mine and he told me about how he went to lunch with a girl who has a “slutty” reputation among her peers. His friends didn’t waste anytime to let him know that he shouldn’t have hung out with her.

And this my friends… is what we call slut shaming.

Emma Stone as "Olive Penderghast" in Screen Gems' EASY A.

You may or may not have heard of this term before, but EVERYONE regardless of their gender or sexuality should know it and understand it. Why? Because at the core of this problem is that people are not receiving the respect they deserve. And everyone deserves respect. Everyone.

Slut shaming is used to describe the act of making people feel guilty or inferior for expressing their sexuality in a way that isn’t orthodox or “normal.” Slut shaming has been so ingrained in our culture that it is now a SOCIETY-wide issue; as in, all genders play a part in sharing the blame. It can happen in many ways. For example, it can simply be when a man looks at a woman who’s getting sexually harassed at a bar and says, “Well she deserves it. Her skirt is short and her boobs are hanging out.” Or it can be when a woman looks at another woman and says, “She’s fucked so many guys… that little slut.” And be honest with yourself. You can’t tell me you’ve NEVER heard anyone say those things, or you’ve never thought them yourself.

Here’s some historical background on it – once upon a time, women didn’t have any rights and the only person they were allowed to fuck was their husband, a.k.a. the person who had legal ownership over her. Through time, we’ve opened our minds to allow women to have sex before marriage, but she has to be sure she LOVES him. Otherwise, you’re a slut for opening up your legs for some random dude. This is where we’re currently at and quite frankly, that’s sad.
ladylike_sexist

One of my male friends reposted this on his Facebook and I couldn’t help but cringe at it. You see, THIS is another example of slut shaming. Are you seeing a trend here? Basically, if a woman is labeled as a slut or whore, she gives up all her rights as a human being and we as a society have the right to treat her like the trash she is. IT’S RIDICULOUS, and I’m so tired of being bombarded with these messages on a daily basis. Just because someone expresses their sexuality in a way that isn’t the way you express yours, doesn’t mean they’re any less of a person. These women are exercising their right to have sex whenever they want with whoever they want. And what’s wrong with that? Men do it all the time.

It’s because of this notion that our precious va-jay-jay is this pure, untouched temple of heaven and if too many people have gone there, then this place has become a filthy, nasty, trashed up place. To achieve gender equality, we have to stop looking at it like that because it holds everyone to a different standard. And what happens when people don’t hold up to these standards? Then they become fucking failures that are slutty and stupid.

Listen up, y’all. Everyone has the right to express themselves however they see fit. It is their body, and it is their personal choice on what they want to do with it. It’s a pretty arrogant mentality if you feel like you have the right to tell someone what to wear, when to wear it, if they should have access to birth control, if they should be drinking that much, and so forth. So what I’m trying to say is… stop fucking telling people what to do! Stop treating women like they need to act in an appropriate way that YOU see fit in order to gain your respect. They deserve that respect from the beginning. We all do.

meangirlsslutwhore

It really comes down to a power dynamic. Women who behave in a way that is deemed appropriate by men are higher up the totem pole than women who behave in “bad” ways that men don’t approve of. Here’s a thought – why don’t we stop trying to please everyone else and why don’t we focus on what the fuck makes US happy? Who gives a fuck if someone doesn’t approve of how you behave? It’s your life – do what you want with it. Another person’s personal choices don’t affect yours. Stop being fixated on shit that doesn’t play any relevance to you in your life.

Stop controlling other people’s choices. You don’t have that right.

Happiness is Here

balloonHappy 2014! I’M BACK!

As much as I’m excited for this brand new year, I have to be honest with you guys: I hate New Years Resolutions. The concept behind them is pretty nice; you make a promise to yourself that you will improve in some aspect that will result in you being a happier person. Sounds legit, right? But here’s the thing… why do we put so much emphasis on making these promises at the start of each year? We can make these promises ANYTIME throughout the entire year. And why do we make these promises to ourselves that don’t correspond to who we are? I mean, you’re really gonna go to the gym five times a week when you haven’t done any rigorous physical activity since high school? Whose goals are you making… yours or society’s? And to that I say – fuck that.

I’ve been in a funk for the past month. I was on cloud nine in my last blog post and now I’m telling you upfront that I’ve been in this stupid, depressed clusterfuck since then. I’ve tried everything from mindless distractions to consistently writing in my journal. I have to constantly remind myself that a broken heart doesn’t heal overnight… especially if you’re like me and constantly think about shit too often.

But I realized something. Happiness is here. It’s always been here, but I’m just refusing to accept it. When I think about my life, I can’t help but be proud and grateful for all the accomplishments I’ve made, friends I’ve kept around, and places I’ve been to. Just because one aspect in your life isn’t up to par with what you envision it to be doesn’t mean the rest of your life has failed. That should just give you motivation to really kick your ass into high gear. Sometimes you just have to ask yourself, “What’s important to me? What do I WANT and what do I NEED?” Once you can answer those questions honestly for yourself, that’s when you can get your shit together and turn those ideas into actions.

And don’t ever feel like you need to justify yourself as to why you feel the way you feel. No one can tell you how to feel. Only YOU can internalize that for yourself.

So here’s my New Years Resolution from now til… ever. I want it ALL. *cue High School Musical number right here* Anyone? No? Damn you people for not understanding my love for Disney movies. (I’m mentally shaking my fist at you.)

But in all seriousness, I want to work on every aspect of myself. I want to grow as a dancer, I want to grow as a leader, I want to become more independent, I want to start vlogging again, I want to grow as a writer, and I want a kick-ass supportive partner that wants to share this crazy journey with me. I want to be a fucking modern day Renaissance Woman.

I know what you’re thinking – “Whoa, slow down girl! One thing at a time!” But who’s to say your methods are what’s going to work for me? Or that my methods are going to work for you? Maybe my crazy, spontaneous, impulsive way of living makes you uncomfortable. Or maybe it intrigues you. Whatever it does, it makes ME happy. And that’s all that matters. No one can take that away from me. No government, no institution, no workplace, no friend, no family, and especially no BOY… can take my right to be happy.

So here’s to a good year. 2014, I have a lot of plans for you. I know you’re going to test me, but I’m ready. Let’s kiss and make up. And kiss again. And then you can kiss my ass for testing me. Because I’m ready to run this shit.

Fellow Females: Stop Being a Bitch to Other Females.

meangirlscatfight

 

From one female to another (or whatever gender you identify with) I have one question for you: Why the fuck are we so mean to one another?

I’ll be honest with you guys. Ever since I was young, I’ve always been involved with heavily female influenced groups, such as studio dance teams, cheer, sorority, and more. Hanging out with other females is something I’m very used to, and because of this experience, I can talk quite open and honestly about what I like to call “Girl Culture.”

Here’s my personal anecdote for your reading pleasure: On my twitter account, I like to post videos and blog posts from other authors because I like to share content. One time I posted an article from the website Jezebel and one of my twitter followers replied to my tweet to share her disapproval of the article. Now I don’t expect everyone in the world to have the same opinions and that’s completely fine. We all come from different backgrounds and were raised in different cultures with different influences. But this person felt the need to really make her case about why this article truly sucked.

I didn’t write the article; I merely just posted it. But the way she was coming at me turned into a personal attack. How? I don’t fucking know! One minute we were discussing the article and the next minute she’s calling me selfish. Um, yeah. That accelerated faster than a naive horny teenage couples’ first sexual encounter.

What did I learn from this experience? Well, now this person thinks they have me all figured out and probably dislike who they think I am. After this all went down, I had a hard time figuring out why someone would get so fired up and throw personal insults at me… over someone else’s article. But you know what? I’ve learned that the people who resort to personal attacks show a pretty immature side to their character. If people are okay with putting themselves out there like that, then to each their own. Like I said, we were all brought up differently. My parents taught me to always handle every conflict with my dignity still in tact.

It’s funny how we’re just socially constructed to hate on each other. If you’re one of those people who say it’s a “natural” thing that females just hate on each other, then please slap yourself and get a grip on reality. Gender is a socially constructed phenomenon. We’re taught at birth on how we should behave, which includes teaching females to be insecure about themselves and hate on other females.

Listen up ladies. It’s hard enough as it is being an oppressed gender and having to adhere to the social norms in a patriarchal society. Can we all just take a moment and think about how we’re acting against one another?

It’s one thing to not agree with someone’s upbringing and lifestyle. There’s people I’ve met in my life where I don’t agree with their personal values and ethics, but I never outright lashed out at them because I didn’t like how she was looking at me or didn’t like how great her ass looks in those jeans that I like. It’s normal to have a preference over who you want to hang out with. The difference between that and straight up hating on someone is that you’re not wasting your breath and energy hating on someone.

So let’s try to practice how to be nice, EVERYONE. (this includes every gender.) Stop being an asshole. The holidays are here and people just forget about what really matters. Getting the BEST presents for your loved ones by throwing bitch fits at the mall is not what matters.

Think about it.

Inspired.

AllyVegaphotoshoot_black

This is my “inspired” face.

Hey everyone! Happy Thursday!

You know, one of the best feelings you can ever experience is the positive energy of being inspired by others. Lately in my life, I’ve been surrounded by such amazing, talented people who are motivated to pursue their dreams. They’re tenacious and will work hard because they understand that nothing great comes easy. I’ve always considered myself to have the same mentality and it’s just so refreshing to share that passion with others.

If you’ve read most or some of my blog posts, you’ll know that I’m a huge advocate for positive reinforcement. I think everyone always deserves some critique on how to better themselves, but in the end, I think the cherry on top is the “You’ve got this!” or “I believe in you!” statements that most of us forget to give to others. We can be so wrapped up in ourselves and how WE can improve, but we forget that there’s others along the way who are also in that same journey. We should be helping each other along. Because ultimately, who wants to stand at the top by themselves? What’s success if you don’t have others to share it with?

I’m not gonna lie, there are some people that you can’t help sometimes. These are the people who just have to learn it the hard way. You can’t just give them the answers and expect them to progress. Self realization is the only way people will grow. Sometimes people just gotta hit rock bottom to realize they have two options: they either continue on their downwards spiral or they wake the fuck up and make the change to better themselves.

I’m not a perfect person and I never, ever claim to be one. I have a lot of stubborn tendencies and I can randomly be shy and awkward. But one thing’s for sure: I know what I want and I will work hard to get it. If that means I have to make some drastic changes and sacrifices, then I will. If that means there are people who I will lose touch with along the way, then so be it. It’s a sad thought, but the people who truly matter in your life will always be a part of your life journey, somehow and someway. Just because we lose touch, doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate what they’ve given to me. I treasure every connection and friend I’ve ever made.

One last thought to leave you with before I conclude my rant for the day – be NICE to people. Please. Unless they’re just a dick.

Ok but in all seriousness, being a genuinely nice person to everyone you meet goes a long way. You might not understand it in the moment, but just giving someone a smile and saying hello to them might have made their whole day. You don’t know what everyone is going through. You don’t know if they’re struggling. So… just be nice.

And to everyone who’s just an asshole to everyone… you’re doomed. 😛 Remember what I said in my last post?! Karma…. (hide yo kids, hide yo wife!)

A great Youtuber by the name of KevJumba once said “When people do cool shit i get inspired so keep doing cool shit so i can get inspired.”

Word.

-Ally

People Just Suck, Sometimes.

Photo from sodahead.com

Photo from sodahead.com

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to start off by apologizing yet again for the random hiatus. I know this is gonna sound like super First World Problems, but writing is hard. You just get hit with spontaneous writer’s block and it SUCKS! Having to write when you’re not inspired is the WORST! Ugh! I have my fair share of articles floating around the web that I’m pretty ashamed of. I won’t link you to them because.. well.. why would I do that to myself? Ew.

So tonight my wonderful best friend and fellow blogger Angi came by to visit and something crummy happened to her. I won’t go into detail because it’s not my story to tell, but in a nutshell, boys are stupid. Not all boys, but all boys. I don’t know what it is sometimes. Maybe it’s something in their genetic make up that doesn’t allow them to fully comprehend their actions or something. Whatever it is, please do us all a favor. Stop being stupid.

Which leads me to the whole point in this post – sometimes people just SUCK! I don’t know why people just do stupid shit that they don’t fully think about and then get all surprised that people are hurt by their actions. Frankly, it pisses me off because that just means you really have no regard to my feelings whatsoever if you’re gonna do stupid shit and not even THINK about how it’s going to affect me.

And you might be thinking: why does it matter? Well if we’re good friends, OF COURSE it’s going to matter what the hell you’re doing with your life! If I care about you, I want you to succeed and be happy. If I see you making choices that don’t lead you down that path, of course I’m going to be concerned. Of course I’m going to intercept with whatever fuckery you’re planning and get you to think twice about what you’re about to do. It’s called… umm… OH YEAH. FRIENDSHIP.

I’m going to be brutally honest here. (Aren’t I always?) There’s a couple blog posts of mine that have implied that the people I hung around in the past treated me poorly. Whether they’re reading this or not never affected how I wrote about it. I don’t care if they’re reading this. This is my blog, this is my space, and you can’t tell me what I can and can’t express on here. It’s like when you’re the passenger in someone’s car and the owner of the car listens to some weird shit you don’t like on the radio. Well, I’m sorry but the owner of the car gets to make the rules in their car. You’re stuck listening to their weird shit. If you don’t like it, drive yourself around, buddy.

What makes me even more mad is when people don’t even REALIZE their actions or words are hurting someone. Like, are you SERIOUS right now?! You’re just going to mouth off and not give a single FUCK on whatever repercussions come your way? Wow. I mean, good luck going through life. Don’t be surprised when no one’s commenting on your million Facebook statuses that talk about how you’re “SOO” happy to be single and your million selfies on your Instagram with a million hashtags of “#likeforlike, #IGDaily, and #ootd.” Newsflash: no one CARES.

I am a firm believer in karma. If you put good energy into this world, you will receive good energy back. If you put bad energy into this world, then you better hide yo kids, hide yo wife, because karma is coming after yo ass. Remember that golden rule… treat others how you want to be treated? I mean if you like being treated like you’re worth nothing in this world and you like being told your intelligence level is equal to that chair you’re sitting on then SURE! Keep on being a dick to people. But if you like when people praise you for your hard work and recognize the passion you have for life, then GIVE OTHERS THAT SAME RESPECT! I mean, is it really that hard to comprehend? Just because I’m not doing things YOUR way, doesn’t mean it’s the wrong way. You have your life and I have mine. You can fck yours up all you want, but don’t get in the way of my happiness and the people’s happiness around me.

Earlier today I tweeted, “I don’t remember you being this bitchy.” That tweet was geared towards an acquaintance I recently saw at an event and this person didn’t even acknowledge my presence. Didn’t even say hi, didn’t do ANYTHING to indicate that she saw me there. Now I know I’m not going to be everyone’s best friend but from one female to another, can you just PLEASE be civil? I mean, get that stick out of your ass. I don’t care if your the Queen of England, you better be cordial and act like a decent human being to me. If that’s too much to ask, well, I guess that was the extent of our so called friendship.

So what did we learn today, friends? There’s always going to be people in our lives that screw us over. There’s going to be people that take you for granted and take advantage of the wonderful person that you are. Our job as GOOD people in this world is to handle people like this with class. I mean, that’s all we can do for them. After all, they’re doomed.

#SorryNotSorry

-Ally

Shut up, Elitists!

Hey everyone! Happy Friday! 🙂

Photo from ricochet.com

Photo from ricochet.com

So this is a topic that’s been on my mind in recent weeks and it effects EVERYONE. Not just geeks. If you have a hobby, have a favorite artist, or if you just in general like ANYTHING… this goes out to you.

And if you know someone like this, please do them a favor. Slap them. And then spew knowledge at them so they know not to be ignorant assholes.

How’s that for an introduction? You know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about ELITISTS. What’s an elitist, you ask? Well let me give you my definition. An elitist is someone who acts elite. Simple, right? These are the people who act like they’re entitled to be the “VIP” section of their fandom. So if you’re a comic book fan, these are the people who own “X” amount of comics and scoff at newcomers who try to get into the series. These are the people who hear a song on the radio and say “Oh my gosh… this song was WAY cooler 6 months ago. Now it’s so mainstream. I hate this song now.”

The other day on my Facebook feed, I saw a status from an acquaintance of mine who basically said that she’s over going to raves or massives because of all the stupid people who keep overdosing on drugs. She said she doesn’t like these events anymore because it went “mainstream” and all these other n00bs (newbies) destroyed something that used to be so “underground.”

Okay… I’ll let that sink in for a minute.

First of all, raves/massives weren’t YOURS to begin with so why are you complaining all these people destroyed it? Here’s a newsflash for everyone reading this: there’s stupid people EVERYWHERE. In ALL parts of the world. You can’t hide from them! They’re going to be in your fandom or hobby.

Oh noes. What do we dooooo?!

How about you IGNORE them? Does it really bother you THAT much that they’re trying to get into something you’re into? I’m not gonna lie… there are some anime fans that seriously make me shake my head when I see them. Am I gonna fall to the ground and die because their existence is ruining my love for anime? NO. I’m still here. I’m still allowed to love anime. End of story. Ignore them! Who says you need to be their friend?

I know that can sound pretty mean, but seriously! We’re all adults here! We’re not in elementary school where you have to send an obligatory Valentine’s Day card to everyone in your classroom. If you don’t want to be associated with someone, then don’t associate yourself with them. This isn’t fcking rocket science.

And I know someone’s going to bring up the whole argument of “Ermagerrdd… their behavior is making ALL of us look bad.” Ok well let me refute that by saying WHAT KIND OF GROUP/ORGANIZATION DOESN’T HAVE SOMEONE LIKE THAT? It takes ONE bad apple to ruin the bunch but that doesn’t mean  you have to automatically identify yourself with them. Whatever happened to just doing your own thing? Whatever happened to just telling people you’re proud to be unique and an individual? Just because there’s anime fans that are a bit immature, doesn’t mean I should be ashamed of myself. There’s always going to be stereotypes. There’s always going to be people who believe in those stereotypes. If someone doesn’t want to get to know you because they automatically judge you for being that raver or anime fan, then fck them! They were probably going to be a shitty friend anyway!

YOU DON’T NEED EVERYONE’S APPROVAL IN SOCIETY TO BE HAPPY. People are going to judge. Let them. They’re the ones missing out on a fabulous person.

So I hope this has encouraged you to verbally slap the shit out of elitists. They annoy me oh so much. Can you tell?

Get off your high horse, elitist. You’re not impressing anyone here.

-Ally

Finding Yourself All Over Again

Hey everyone!! Happy Wednesday!

It’s been a while since I’ve last seen you! But that was entirely my fault. I went into hustle mode and I didn’t exactly have time to sit down and blog about it. But what’s done is done and here I am! Sorry I neglected you, my internet friends. I missed you and I definitely didn’t forget about you.

So in case you don’t know, I actually have interests outside of my Geek Girl persona. (SAY WHAAT?!) I know, right? Who does that? Well, actually, a lot of people do. And I say it’s time we start acknowledging that it’s NORMAL to be a well rounded person.

I’ve said it multiple times in this blog, but I’ll say it again. I love to dance. I started dancing when I was 12-years-old. My dad was a ballroom dance instructor and he put my sister and I in classes. We took the generic studio classes – ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop. At first I was trying to rebel against the dance life because most of my family did it and I wanted to be different. But in jr. high when I joined the dance team, I realized dance was a passion of mine.

I continued to dance all throughout high school and during my freshman year of college. But after that, I stopped. It was sad. Life got in the way and I couldn’t find time to take class anymore. Plus, the SoCal dance scene was absolute craziness. It was this whole world I’ve never seen and it was intimidating as fck. These hip hop dancers were incredible to watch and I just felt like I wasn’t good enough to train with them. I also felt insignificant because I never danced on a team before. I was just that lone, solo dancer that watched from afar… hoping and wishing someday that can be me…

Okay. I’m totally exaggerating. But my point is I then began to admire the dance community from a distance rather than be in it.

That all changed about 2 months ago when I applied to be a staff for Boogiezone.

Interviewing Ellen Kim from Movement Lifestyle

Interviewing Ellen Kim from Movement Lifestyle

Boogiezone is this wonderful dance community that bridges the industry and community together to train under one roof. Not only does it provide a healthy environment to learn in, it provides numerous opportunities to grow and challenge yourself.

I got an email that they were hiring staff for different locations and I decided, why the hell not. I was looking for an internship and this felt like the right one. To my surprise, I got an email from the brainchild himself, Elm, a day later asking for a phone interview. And it’s all history from there…

Erm.. well… 2 months of history. Whatever, don’t judge me.

This experience so far has been amazing. I can’t even find the words to describe how confident I feel again. This past weekend was our summer intensive, Boogiezone University. It was 3 days of hard fcking WORK! We had classes all day and as staff, it was our job to pump up the classes and make sure the choreographer’s and students’ experience was one they wouldn’t forget.

Anthony Lee, Culture Shock LA Director

Anthony Lee, Culture Shock LA Director

My primary job all weekend was to interview the choreographers. Now, I’m no stranger to interviewing. We do it every week for community class. But we had about 50 instructors altogether. I did about 85% of those interviews. I suck at math, but you can pretty much get the idea that I conducted a bunch of interviews back to back.

It was hard, but I felt like I finally mattered.

Di Moon Zhang from I.aM.Me, ABDC's Season 6 Champions

Di Moon Zhang from I.aM.Me, ABDC’s Season 6 Champions

Does that make sense? Sit tight, I’m about to get all philosophical up in here.

For the past year, I was in a rut. I felt like a failure, I felt like I couldn’t make anyone happy or proud, I felt like I had nobody by my side and it was terrible. I felt like no matter what I did, it was and will always be wrong.

Now I know what you’re thinking. This mentality is whack. First of all… hell yeah it is! Second of all, I went through this rut because of the people I was surrounded by. You know that saying that if you surround yourself with positive people who believe in you, you will always do well? Well it was exactly the opposite. I surrounded myself with people who doubted me and never believed that I could accomplish anything. I knew I had to take a stand and make a change if I wanted to be happy again.

Now this is gonna get super corny but Boogiezone is the reason I’m back on my feet. There’s other factors too, but Boogiezone is a big factor. Just so you know, I entered this journey alone but I met so many wonderful people that I can consider dear friends of mine. I never would have imagined myself interviewing some of my favorite choreographers, let alone meeting them or taking their class. I am so incredibly grateful and blessed to have been able to do this. Seriously, thank you Elm for everything. Thank you for believing in me and thank you for allowing me to wreck havoc on your Youtube channel. Shit’s about to get real loud up in here.

Arnel Calvario, Kaba Modern Founder

Arnel Calvario, Kaba Modern Founder

I could go on and on about what Boogiezone means to me, but I’ll tie it back to one of my many “Awesome Advice” posts. If you’re unhappy, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Please. We only have so much time to live on this earth. We can’t be wasting days just feeling sorry for ourselves. If you’re in a shitty job, if you’re in a shitty relationship, if you have shitty friends, make that change and make the choice to be happy today. There will always be outside factors you can’t control, but YOU have the power to change everything. You have the power to change your attitude. You have the power to change your life.

So do it. I encourage you. You’ll be so much happier, I promise.

I titled this post “Finding Yourself All Over Again” because I felt like I lost myself when I was in that rut. My daily routine was all mechanic and I was just going through the motions. I lost my purpose. But I found it again and I couldn’t be happier.

And I’m just happy that people like Ellen Kim or Arnel Calvario noticed that. I really must be doing something good in my life!

So let’s all find our purpose again. Let’s find ourselves through this hot mess we call life.

-Ally