I Got 99 Problems, but Being a Bitch Ain’t One

Tina-Fey

Hey everyone,

I know it’s been a minute since I last posted, but I’m here. Just been takin’ care of things. I think it’s called life. Oh life… sometimes you just kick my ass a little too hard.

But as usual, I’ve been sitting here thinking a lot about a little bit of everything and I’ve recently discovered yet a new perspective of myself that I haven’t given much thought to.

I’m a bitch. And I’m totally ok with that.

Obviously it’s taken me a while to accept and embrace this fact about myself. You might be sitting here wondering how the hell a commonly degrading word can be empowering, but it can. You just have to change your attitude and control the power dynamic.

Women are generally taught to be submissive, polite, and quiet. It’s never really encouraged to speak up, especially against a man. We’re usually taught to just walk away from things that make us uncomfortable instead of facing it head on. We’re basically being programmed at birth to aspire to marry and start a family.

But what happens when a woman doesn’t follow this formula? As a society, we tend to shun her. We reprimand her for being too vocal and assertive. We make her feel guilty of her sexual choices. We become disappointed in her if she’s spending too much time at work and not enough time with her family, but criticize her work ethic when she chooses her family over work.

Don’t believe me? We see it ALL the time in the media. The recent controversy with Duke freshmen Belle Knox is one example. The unfortunate incident in Steubenville is another example. Or how about how the government is up in arms about giving women access to birth control? The list goes on and on. And that’s fucking sad.

I’m a bitch because I’m tired of this shit. I’m tired of people looking at me like some dainty little flower that can’t handle anything by herself. I’m tired of people looking at me and judging my life choices, yet if a man were to make the same choices, no one would question him. I’m tired of people thinking the reason I’m single is because I’m so damn picky and I should just lower my standards in order to find someone. No bitch.. I shouldn’t lower my standards. People should be aspiring to meet my standards if they want to get with me. I’m an educated woman of color that doesn’t have time to play with little boys. What happened to all the men?

If knowing what I want to aspire in life makes me a bitch, then so be it. If being picky about a potential partner makes me a bitch, then so be it. If calling sexist and racist bullshit out when I see it makes me a bitch, then So. Be. It. If you don’t want to get called out, then don’t say sexist and racist bullshit. It’s as easy as that.

But hey, I’m human too. I’m not always this strong-willed, assertive boss ass bitch all the time. I get caught up in my insecurities too.  I find that surrounding yourself with loving and supportive people really helps. Also, listening to dope ass music that encourages you to be a boss ass bitch also really helps.

So moral of the story… ladies, it’s ok to be a bitch. Because a wise woman named Tina Fey once said, “Bitches get stuff done.”

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Asian-American Beauty Queens Represent!

Hey everyone! Happy Monday!

So in case you were busy watching some Sunday Night Football, yesterday night a new Miss America was crowned. Congratulations to Miss New York Nina Davuluri!

Photo from kammasworld.blogspot.com

Photo from kammasworld.blogspot.com

And let’s not forget the runner up, Miss California Crystal Lee.

Photo from misscalifornia.org

Photo from misscalifornia.org

So based on the title of this post, I’m sure you can guess where I’m going with this. But brace yourself, I’m about to discuss a whole lot more than what meets the eye. You see, I’ve always wanted to do a beauty pageant themed post, but I never had a reason to. Well thank god it was pageant season, eh?!

First off let me just say I’m pretty conflicted about all this. I’ll start off with why I’m happy. I’m very, very proud that the top 2 contestants for this year’s Miss America were of Asian-American descent. As a proud Asian-American, I’m absolutely proud of these two ladies for working hard and being recognized for their hard work. Just so you know, this is the first time someone of Indian descent has won the Miss America title. FIRST TIME, EVER! I mean, yes I’m proud, but dear god, why is this the first time? We’re in the year 2013 and we haven’t had an Indian winner? Kinda makes you think twice about our country really being as progressive as we think. Just because we have an African-American president, doesn’t mean we’re progressive as a nation. I will admit we are headed in the right direction, but there’s A LOT that we still need to work on.

Second, I’d like to say that I’m very pleased that an Asian-American woman represented California. California is usually known for it’s “surfer” kinda girls with fake tans, beach blonde hair, and blue eyes, but that’s so not an accurate representation of ALL California girls. California as a state is SUPER diverse, especially the Southern California region. We don’t all look like that. There’s always been a pretty good Asian population throughout California, so I’m glad Miss Crystal Lee can represent that.

Third, in general, I’m just proud that Miss America is slowly becoming a different look each year. I mean, I get that this isn’t the first time a white girl hasn’t won, and that’s not the point I’m trying to make. The point I’m making is that there are A LOT of different ethnicity in this country. Miss America should be an accurate representation of an American woman.

Which brings me to my next point – the opposite side of this whole premise I’ve made so far. FYI, I’m about to get real critical up in here.

I hate the idea of beauty pageants. They’re just so outdated and it just PROVES we reside in this ridiculously apparent patriarchal society that needs to go the fuck away. I mean, think about it: a COMPETITION about who’s the most ideal woman? To who’s standards? Not only do these women have to be a specific height and weight, they need to apparently be able to sound “smart” and have some random ass “showy” talent to display for others. And before anyone starts to sound off, I AM aware that the Miss America website doesn’t specify a specific height and weight, but I’m sorry, when was the last time you saw a plus sized woman win? Exactly.

I’m sorry, but EVERY and ANY woman can do this without it being shown on national television. Have you ever heard of a speech and debate competition? You can practice your public speaking skills there. And all the other categories? I mean, swimsuit competition?! Really?? How can you tell me that we’re a progressive nation if we’re seriously judging these young women on their bodies? THEIR BODIES! Jeez, why don’t you just put me in a cage and parade me around like an animal at a zoo?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying these women don’t work hard. I know they do. I know they are passionate about what they do. And that’s great. BUT, we can do that without competing against one another for a fucking crown. Any person, any size, shape, color, etc. can give back to their community. I think that’s great that all these women want to use their prize money on noble things, but can’t we obtain that money through other ways? Like, without having to strut in a bikini?

The whole idea just baffles me. I believe all woman are intelligent, beautiful, and motivated in her own way. I just don’t like the idea that we need to place a label of “Miss _____” to prove she’s the best. Because frankly, she’s NOT. No one should put a scale on how much you give back to the community and how passionate you are about education and the future. You can do all that shit without investing thousands and thousands of dollars on a fucking ball gown and beauty pageant lessons.

So, now you see the disparity in my feelings for beauty pageants, particularly this year’s Miss America competition. I really do sincerely congratulate Miss Nina Davuluri on her success, but I just think we need to start teaching our young girls that looks aren’t everything. Looks are subjective and we don’t need to be striving to be some sort of “ideal woman.” Fuck that shit. I am not a stick skinny girl and I’m very short, but I’m proud of my body, I’m proud that I can engage in political discussion, and I’m proud I can DANCE! I don’t need to compete in a beauty pageant to realize my potential as a well rounded woman.

-Ally