What’s in a Name?

Photo from whimquarterly.com

Photo from whimquarterly.com

You know what’s funny? Finding romance in unexpected places. Well, I guess it’s not “funny” per se, but it definitely is ironic.

No, you know what’s funny? If you remember a couple blog posts back, I wrote about being single and how I didn’t want to date around. I titled that post “#1” because I was expecting to make it into a series of posts about why being a single girl in today’s modern age is pretty annoying because everyone expects you to find love. But… now things are different. In a good way of course, but things are different. Because I fell for someone.

So I’ve pretty much put myself out there in all my writing. If you’ve been with me in the beginning, you know I’ll tell you guys pretty much anything you want to know about me. The life of a blogger, ya know? So let’s just gossip for a few minutes because… well, why the hell not.

This came out of nowhere. Well, I guess I can’t really say out of NOWHERE… If I look at it objectively, this definitely has been building up over time. We’re friends. He was always someone I saw as just another friend. But one magical moment, everything changed. We realized there was something between us that we couldn’t ignore, and we just let our feelings steer our course. It’s beautiful, but ridiculously frightening. Not knowing where we’re going and what will become of us is terrifying, but thrilling at the same time. Isn’t it funny what feelings can do to your brain? Forget drugs – I have a natural fcking high.

I’ve been reading a lot lately since I finally graduated from college (YAY!) and I started rereading Romeo and Juliet. It’s literally been almost five years since I picked up that book, but I couldn’t help but want to reread it. I was watching an episode of Daria, and it was the episode where all the teachers go on strike so Daria had to become a substitute teacher for a bit. She subbed a freshmen English class and tested them on Romeo and Juliet. For some reason, based SOLELY on that part of the episode, I felt compelled to pick up the book and reread it.

Shakespeare is a genius. I’m pretty sure you knew that without me having to say it. The fact that his literature is recycled over and over in pop culture is proof that whatever he created was always brilliant. There’s one part of Romeo and Juliet that I’ve always remembered – and it’s this part that gave me so much insight into the current state of my love life.

It’s the famous scene where Romeo is wooing Juliet from her balcony. Juliet basically tells Romeo to abandon his name and run away with her. She says, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other word would smell just as sweet.” This line is so simple, yet makes SO much sense. Did anyone else read that part and go “HOLY FUCK. Mindblown. Thanks Shakespeare.” No? Because I just did. Shakespeare pretty much gave me a brain orgasm. A braingasm.

Because it’s TRUE! Relationships nowadays are so different than what they were 50 years ago. There’s so many types of relationships that not everything has a title. You see, me and this boy are dating, but we’re not in a relationship. For a little bit, I was confused as fck about that. I kept thinking, we do everything a normal couple does, so why can’t we have the title? But then everything made sense when I remembered that line from Romeo and Juliet. WHAT’S IN A NAME?!

A title is just a title. We just add weight to it in order to make it significant. There’s plenty of couples nowadays who don’t believe in marriage but they consider themselves as life-long partners. As with the dating scene, there’s plenty of couples out there that date, but not date. It may seem complicated in theory, but to each couple, it makes perfect sense. As long as both people’s needs are being met in the “relationship,” then who the fck cares about a title? Because when it comes down to it, only they know how each other feels. It doesn’t matter if no one else understands… what matters is that they’re happy and they understand.

I’ve always been an advocate for non-traditional… in every sense of the word. But I have to admit, even I got caught up in the black and white of the dating world. I was upset and confused because me and the boy didn’t have a title. But now that I’ve come to realize that because the title carries no meaning (unless we give it one), we don’t need to be constrained by society’s “rules” on how we should act in those specific roles of “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.”

Of course we want it to happen someday, but we won’t know until we cross that bridge. So until then, I don’t mind him being “the boy.”

 

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Day 20: Dear Future Significant Other

Dear Future Significant Other,

Bonus points if you know which Japanese drama this is from! ;)

Bonus points if you know which Japanese drama this is from! 😉

Well first off, hello there! This is awkward writing to someone I don’t know yet, but bear with me. I’m here to give you some heads up on what to expect when we’re hitched and ready to start our life together.

And by the way, that wasn’t some weird sexual innuendo. By “heads up” I mean that I’m just giving you some advice. Pervert.

I can be absolutely and utterly impulsive, which can be both good and bad. Once I decide to do something, I’m going to find a way to do it. Please be understanding and know that it’s nothing personal if I’m going to be away from you from periods of time. I’m just chasing dreams, no matter how old I am. I hope you will still be by my side and support me as I do.

I can also be ridiculously stubborn in my ways. Yes, I hear your side of the story and understand your opinions, but that doesn’t mean I like them. And I’ll make sure you know I don’t like them. Please be patient with me on this one… I’m trying to get better at this.

I hope you can put up with my love for the Geek Fandom. I love going to conventions and cosplaying. I love watching anime and blogging about how it makes me feel. I love dancing to Jpop and Kpop songs. I hope you like this too, otherwise our relationship can be pretty difficult to maintain.

Oh and on the topic of Geek Culture, I hope you don’t mind my mass collection of manga and comic books. I like collecting these things and you better not fcking sell these on eBay if we’re ever in need of money. I don’t care HOW broke we might get… I’d rather sell our TV. We can always watch shows on our laptops… duh…

I also have a Love-Hate relationship with food. Sometimes I’ll want to eat and pass out on the couch and sometimes I’ll be religiously counting my calories. Sorry in advanced. I know this behavior is so bipolar, but again, be patient with me. Just encourage me to workout with you and we’ll be good.

Lastly, I like to dance. I hope you do too. Or this could get awkward. At least twerk or something. If you need help, there’s a bunch of tutorials on Youtube.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I promise to love and cherish you as long as you love and cherish me. May we find everlasting happiness together.

Love,
Ally

Day 13: A Letter to Someone

Hey guys! Happy TMI Tuesday!

So the actual challenge today is “A Letter to Someone Who Hurt You Recently.” And if that isn’t some weird parallel to my life right now, I don’t know what is. Don’t worry… I’ll explain.

Just as a side note, I’m probably not going to stay true to this challenge because I did recently write a letter to someone who hurt me. I said what I needed to say, and that’s the end of it. I don’t need to be blasting that information here.

Soo um, there’s no easy way to say this so I’ll just be blunt: I’m single. I recently got out of a long term relationship. Many of you who keep up with my blog are real life friends of mine so you obviously know who it is. Honestly, there’s not really much to say about it. I know everyone always expects this dramatic, tragic ending but really… is that how life always is? Yes, our lives can get pretty fcking crazy and hectic, but sometimes the answers to some of our biggest problems are the most simplest ideas. Now I’ll answer some of the most common questions that are probably running through your head:

1) Are you ok?
Yes, I’m fine. I mean, no break up is ever easy so I’m not like, COMPLETELY ok. But I’m doing just fine and I’m keeping a positive attitude. It helps that I have amazing friends by my side. I really don’t know what I’d do without you guys.

2) What happened?!?!?!111 😦
To answer this in the most accurate and direct way – LIFE happened. You can’t expect a happy ending with every person you date; that’s just a naive way to view life. Life took he and I in two different paths and we could no longer make it work, no matter how hard we tried. And that’s ok. I wish him the best and I hope he finds happiness.

And uh… that’s all the common questions I could think of. If you want to ask me anything else, then by all means, go for it.

Break ups are tough and the path back to happiness is always a struggle. What’s important to know is that you should never feel bad about yourself and think you weren’t good enough. If anyone ever makes you feel less than you’re worth, then it’s time to GTFO of that hot mess. Just because it didn’t work out with that person, doesn’t mean you’re not good enough for ANYONE. You are a gem, and you are the only YOU in this entire universe. If the person you’re dating can’t appreciate that, then fck them!

Not literally.. but… you know what I mean.

And just for the record, I’m not implying that he thought I was worthless. In fact, he treated me very well. I’m just speaking on a general break up note.

Also, if you’re going through a break up or a hard/complicated time in your relationship, remember to talk it out with someone you trust. It’s hard to deal with all those feelings by yourself. It’s overwhelming and you probably won’t be making rational decisions because of how emotional you might be. So find a trustworthy friend or a counselor and let them feels out.

My last piece of advice for handling a break up is… hellooo… music! In case you didn’t read some of my previous posts, I mentioned my favorite break up song is Hilary Duff’s “So Yesterday.” This song helps me feel a little stronger and helps me move forward. It might not work for you, so make sure you find a song that really resonates with your situation. If all else fails, blast some Destiny’s Child.

For all the women who independent, throw yo hands up at meeee.

(Please tell me you know that song. Shame on you if you don’t know that classic Destiny’s Child song.)

TMI Fact of the Day: The other day at work, I almost tripped. I got so scared that I was gonna eat shit, that I farted.

Uh.. yeah. Random. It was really funny when it happened though. My shift lead and I died laughing that night.

-Alice