From one female to another (or whatever gender you identify with) I have one question for you: Why the fuck are we so mean to one another?
I’ll be honest with you guys. Ever since I was young, I’ve always been involved with heavily female influenced groups, such as studio dance teams, cheer, sorority, and more. Hanging out with other females is something I’m very used to, and because of this experience, I can talk quite open and honestly about what I like to call “Girl Culture.”
Here’s my personal anecdote for your reading pleasure: On my twitter account, I like to post videos and blog posts from other authors because I like to share content. One time I posted an article from the website Jezebel and one of my twitter followers replied to my tweet to share her disapproval of the article. Now I don’t expect everyone in the world to have the same opinions and that’s completely fine. We all come from different backgrounds and were raised in different cultures with different influences. But this person felt the need to really make her case about why this article truly sucked.
I didn’t write the article; I merely just posted it. But the way she was coming at me turned into a personal attack. How? I don’t fucking know! One minute we were discussing the article and the next minute she’s calling me selfish. Um, yeah. That accelerated faster than a naive horny teenage couples’ first sexual encounter.
What did I learn from this experience? Well, now this person thinks they have me all figured out and probably dislike who they think I am. After this all went down, I had a hard time figuring out why someone would get so fired up and throw personal insults at me… over someone else’s article. But you know what? I’ve learned that the people who resort to personal attacks show a pretty immature side to their character. If people are okay with putting themselves out there like that, then to each their own. Like I said, we were all brought up differently. My parents taught me to always handle every conflict with my dignity still in tact.
It’s funny how we’re just socially constructed to hate on each other. If you’re one of those people who say it’s a “natural” thing that females just hate on each other, then please slap yourself and get a grip on reality. Gender is a socially constructed phenomenon. We’re taught at birth on how we should behave, which includes teaching females to be insecure about themselves and hate on other females.
Listen up ladies. It’s hard enough as it is being an oppressed gender and having to adhere to the social norms in a patriarchal society. Can we all just take a moment and think about how we’re acting against one another?
It’s one thing to not agree with someone’s upbringing and lifestyle. There’s people I’ve met in my life where I don’t agree with their personal values and ethics, but I never outright lashed out at them because I didn’t like how she was looking at me or didn’t like how great her ass looks in those jeans that I like. It’s normal to have a preference over who you want to hang out with. The difference between that and straight up hating on someone is that you’re not wasting your breath and energy hating on someone.
So let’s try to practice how to be nice, EVERYONE. (this includes every gender.) Stop being an asshole. The holidays are here and people just forget about what really matters. Getting the BEST presents for your loved ones by throwing bitch fits at the mall is not what matters.
Think about it.
Alice Vega 